Saturday, 18 September 2010
Outside Looking In
We have been aware for sometime that one of our twins is "a bit different" to our two other sons. He has always been a particularly sensitive little boy, showing extreme levels of embarrassment and self consciousness at a very early age. Not traits normally associated with small boys. Sensitive to the extreme, he crys easily and is upset by the smallest changes. He needs very little sleep and questions, questions all the time . He doesn't like to join in with other children at play time and hates rough and tumble games with his big brother . We put this down to him just having a more gentle nature to the rest of the boys in the family .
Since starting Year One a few weeks ago, he started off with lots of "silly" behaviour that is gradually getting worse. He ignores adults when spoken to or will challenge them, sometimes even saying "yea! yea! Blah ! blah! " in reply . He is using swear words that lord only knows where he picked them up from and has started saying he is bored with school, bored with life "bored ! bored! bored ! " he is 5 yrs old ! No amount of talking, cuddling, repremanding seems to work.
Yesterday I was called into school to be told he had bitten another child for no apparant reason. After a lengthly conversation with the teacher it turns out he is continually disruptive in class, always questioning the teacher and saying that he is bored!.
When I collected him from class I noticed he had a bump on his cheek, caused he said by his twin brother. When we returned home we had a chat about how to behave and what was and wasn't acceptable behaviour. Twin brother was repremanded for hurting his brother although no information on the incident could be gleened!
About an hour after bedtime he called downstairs "mummy, I'm sorry" I went up and got into bed with him as he was obviously upset. That's when it all came pouring out. He finds it hard to make friends with the other children, nobody wants to play with him. One boy yesterday punched him in the side of the head so hard his head hit a wall and to my horror, the incident with his brother was caused when two boys and his twin brother (all five yrs old) chased him knocked him to the floor and his own twin kicked him in the face. I spent an hour holding him while he and I both wept, his twin brother sleeping blissfully below us. He eventually fell asleep. I came downstairs horrifyed relating the details to my husband.
I don't know what to do, what to say. I am at a total loss as to how to deal with this, How to help them both, I can't believe his own brother would do such a thing let alone to his twin. I need to talk to someone who can help him and us, do we take advice from a professional with no personal experience or do we seek out parents of twins ?