Saturday, 17 March 2012

Mothers Day - This one is probably not for you

It has to be said I dread Mothers Day and its commercial "Look at me , see how much MY family loves me" pressure.     I know now not to have any great expectations, no special lunches out, pampering or presents, usually a small appreciation of gratitude or a hurried petrol station type purchase.  I know this should be enough but its lack of though is what hurts the most.  It's ok, I am used to it now, if not mostly just a little sad.

I don't consider myself a bad mum, I work hard (very hard) I set a good example to my children.  They are clean, well fed, I take them to sports events, days out, I play with them, tuck them up in bed every night.  We have music and singing in the house, we laugh, there have always been stories, playing (lots of playing, I have three boys).  They are not subjected to large amounts of shouting, smacking or rows between my husband and myself.  So yes, I do feel a little let down by this day.

I am (mostly) over it.  (might not be true).

On Mothers Day (I will be thinking about my own mother) but I will mostly be thinking about :

Those mothers whose own mothers have died and are no longer here to be celebrated.

To single mothers who probably don't have anybody to help their children celebrate the day for them.

To mothers whose husbands are serving in the armed forces.

To mothers who are beaten and abused and the best they can hope for on this day is to be left alone.

To mothers who suffer from PND or depression.

To mothers who are in a house full of family but are forgotten.


To mothers whose children have been taken away from them too soon.

This is for you.



22 comments:

  1. That's such a beautiful, touching thought. Happy Mothers Day to you too x

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  2. You know how much I love you. Happy Mothers Day to you, my dear friend

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  3. see that made me cry - but in a good way - people like you make the World a better place to be x

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  4. This is lovely sentiment Karen. And may I add to the list, "Mothers of angels who were taken away too soon."

    They are often forgotten, too. :(

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    1. Katie, of course. I have added your angels to my list xxx

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  5. Such a lovely post Happy Mothers Day to you all mums x

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  6. Oh God, weeping here now. What a beautiful, thoughtful post xx

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  7. Aaaw that is such a lovely message in these days of media hype. I detest how we are constantly bombarded by guilt inducing made-up days of celebration!
    Having said that I have this year got my first ever Mother's Day gift from my sons, 3 nail varnishes to give me something to do while they're living it up on a rugby weekend to Rome!! I'm actually sitting watching the Scotland game just now hoping to spot them in the crowd!

    Kirsten x

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  8. Karen, you are my only daughter, we have had our moments of sadness either with each other, or by other's trying to hurt us but you will always be loved by me, you have been there at my deepest moments, caring for my son Jason your brother even though you have so much pressure in your own life nothing has been too much for you to help others. Some may find you abrupt at times, but they have never experienced the life you have been through, helping to cope with an Autistic Brother, seeing dangers in the Army when you served in Ireland and lost dear friends, in the Falklands when your friend was killed in an hercules plane. NEVER EVER THINK YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR FEEL GUILT YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND DAUGHTER AND WE LOVE YOU EVEN IF AT TIMES WE DO NOT ALWAYS SHOW IT. ENJOY YOUR DAY XXXX
    ALWAYS YOUR MOTHER XXXXXX

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  9. This made me cry - not least when readin your message from your own loving mother. I didn't think anyone would remember that single mothers of young children have to wait at least 10 years before they are aknowledged on Mother's Day. Such a silly little thing and I'm so thankful to be a mother - Mother's Day was far worse before.

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  10. Your Mum's comment made me cry lots :-( As I've been a single Mother for more than 9 years now, I've given up trying to get anyone to make the effort for me and have started treating myself....however I have promised to take Chick to Tesco and give her a couple of quid to buy me a card! Completely baffles me that neither her Dad nor my lovely Man can be arsed to do that for me??!!! Happy Mothers Day lovely, they are very lucky to have you xx

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  11. That's a beautiful post and I wish you a very happy mothers day x

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  12. Beautiful, thoughtful post Karen, Love you LOTS!.
    Im so sorry that your boys are a bit rubbish at the whole mothers day thing, do u think it may have anything to do with being in a house full of boys? i'm sure Ellie helps chivvy folk along in the right direction in this house ;)
    And me and my mum aren't talking at the mo, but i still sent her flowers today, where as I know my brother never rememberer's my mum's birthday or mothers day.
    Boys/men are sometimes a thoughtless bunch, Just a thought.
    Oh and another thought, I know money is tight for everybody at the mo, but maybe next year spoil yourself with lots of little things that make you happy...and then tak yourself off for a very very very (all day long) bath ( book and wine close to hand ) ... & go on strike for the day :)) XXX

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  13. Great post... We don't do mother's day in this house, just like we don't do any other holiday other than xmas. I just cannot stand all the commercial cr*p that goes on with every 'holiday'.

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  14. A lovely thoughtful post. I will still be happier to receive a hand drawn card to a bought one as like you I hate how every event in the calender is a way of making money for retailers. I will also be remembering my Mother tomorrow even if she is no longer here for me to tell her how much she still means to me x

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  15. Aww Happy Mother's Day for you and all Mummys everywhere! My husband is rubbish with it but my children's school make a real deal about Mother's Day, every child makes something and a card and they have assemblies about how important our mums are. Having said that Lou was telling me about one assembly this week and told me that since we have a washing machine whereas her teachers mum had a mangle, I don't need any help to do the washing!
    Because of school, J and L are more aware however I did buy the Marks and Spencer Mother's Day meal deal on Thursday and I bet I end up cooking it tomorrow ;)

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  16. Thank you all so much for taking the time to leave your comments on this post it means so much to me. I think it is so important to spare a though for the many women who are without their mothers or are mothers and will not be celebrated today. xxx

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  17. That is such a lovely post. Happy Mothers Day xx

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  18. Hugs Karen a beautiful post. My mom was a single mom I remember being so upset as I couldn't get her gift. I took my £1.60 pocket money went to the post office and bought the crappiest things but I was so proud. Boys are crap. Neither of my brothers will see there mom today. I am not speaking to mine but I still took the kids to see her yesterday. Your mums comment is lovely to see. I have a disabled son and fear for my little girl & the things she shall have to do miss out on for him. You are an extra special mama. I am sorry your boys don't show that but I am sure they would if they understood x

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  19. This beautiful post made me cry too! I lost my mother 10 years ago but still feel it acutely. Sometimes I just go out and buy her a present anyway! I also live with two men, one an adolescent however, and they are just rubbish! I was heartened, however, at work today to find that the general conversation was about how most of the women there were going home to cook dinner and that I am NOT alone! It takes no money, just love to express your gratitude and I think all mothers everywhere deserve more than they get!!

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  20. This is a really poignant post and I enjoyed reading it because 1) it made me apprciate my mum, whom i didnt see today because she lives 200miles away and 2) it was my first ever mothers day. I have been so wrapped up in the excitement of it that I didnt think to remember those who may need the support. Thank you for pointing that out!
    I hope you at least got a kiss today from your boys, thats enough to make any mummies days better :)
    x

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