Friday, 8 February 2013

Odd one out

You would think because my youngest boys are twins they would never be short of a friend.  Which in a way is true, but most of the time they prefer the company of friends from school.  This would be fine if it were not for the fact that both boys have developed friendships which include two other boys and the twins each seem to be the "third" friend in each the relationship.

I remember this type of friendship well from my own schooldays.  It would always end with one person not included in one way or another, usually with the "popular" child moving between the other two as they saw fit.  Arguments, jealousies and fall outs were common.

This week I have had to try to answer questions from both boys asking why they never get invited to their "friends" homes when the other boys see each other for tea after school, sleepovers and day trips out.

I try to answer best I can but am finding it increasingly difficult to explain to them why this might be happening.  I don't want to hurt their feelings and it breaks my heart to see them cry because they don't understand.

Today after another particularly upsetting episode where  one twin stood outside his friends house shouting his name because where he knew the two other boys had a play date, I angrily called him away.  I was embarrassed.

  Like many people I suppose I am insecure myself and try hard to be a nice person although I am well aware I can be curt and sharp with people at times.  I want my boys to be liked and it breaks my heart to think they are not wanted as friends.  So  I told them that actually it was probably me their mummies didn't like and not them at all.

"Well you need to get a pretty face then and then our friends will like us best".

No answer to that really.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

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