Thursday, 14 July 2011


I've just come home from Jarvis' school assembly where I cried buckets over the lovely song the children sang and the ugly duckling turning into a swan.  The theme of the assembly was CHANGE.  Maybe the topic triggered the tears or maybe the fact that I finally went to the doctors yesterday after months of discomfort, mood swings & sleepless nights.

The doctor confirmed what I already knew in my heart, I was beginning the menopause!  I've known this was the most likely cause of all the horrible sweating, tingling in my hands and chest, uncomfortable palpitations, sleepless nights spent lying awake, one minute boiling so hot I felt I needed to rip all my clothes off, fling open all the windows and catch the slightest breeze to bring some relief from the feeling that I am boiling alive from the inside! The next shivering cold and hauling the covers off my husband to fling them back off again within minutes!

As I sat there discussing the merits of herbal versus HRT, I felt myself screaming inside , its here, how did my life go by so fast, this is the final stage, I'm not ready for this, I am on the downward slope to death!  I have six year old twins, this is what happens when you are old,  I can't have babies anymore (which is ridiculous because I was sterilised anyway two months after having the twins )!  I didn't want any more babies of that I was adamant, but now I have no choice !

It can take from two to five years to complete the menopause, TWO to FIVE YEARS ! of this !  My husband will leave me for sure, I will have no friends !  my boys will hate me. 

I am crying now as I type this, I feel such a wreck.  I want to be "normal"  I don't want to be hot and cross and "tingly (in a bad way)  all the bloody time !

Now I have to try and decide which option will give me the most relief, The drug option in the form of HRT  or the more costly and scientifically unproven "natural" route taking red clover, black cohash and the like.  There are no guarantees either will help ease my symptoms and the HRT option has risks of developing some forms of cancer. 

I'm so tired, tired of being uncomfortable, tired of being cross, tired of being tired......


  1. Have you researched the diet change approach? Women from the far east don't suffer the same symptoms as western ladies do, this is thought to be due to their soya rich diet. Worth a look.

  2. Really ? Will take a look, must admit I don't have the best diet in the world. i.e I eat healthy but not at regular intervals.

  3. Ah Karen, I too dread the menopause for all the same reasons as you have said above.. But we WILL all get through it and then help others to get through it. By reading your blog you will be bringing comfort to all of your followers who are also approaching / going through / been through the dreaded M! Have faith it will get better :)
    My mum tried all the herbal remedies and some seemed to help more than others, no two people are the same but try what is best for you.
    My mum used to keep a book which she could write stuff down in, a bit like how you portray things on your blog now, it is an ideal way to get things out in the open and make you feel better.
    Your husband and children will always be there for you!
    Good luck and keep blogging, I assure you there will be others out there to share your Menopausal thoughts x x x x x
    Shelley Bird - Facebook x

  4. oh Shelley thank you so much for making the effort to comment. I know you are a facebook gal! I really appreciate your kind words. Its so horrible feeling so teary and uncomfortable. I was soaked in sweat in the assembly, I couldn't get out there quick enough when it ended. I thought I was going to faint .
    Thank you again xxx

  5. Oh sweetie. Wish I could reach in and hug you.I don't have any advice or experience, but didn't want to read and run.

    The soya rich diet sounds very interesting. might be worth having a read up on things like this and see what might work for you.

    Big, massive hugs xxx

  6. Oh Karen. I just wanted to send you a hug. I remember my mum going through it and she felt exactly the same. I don't have any advice but I wanted to send you some love anyway. There are so many different approaches to things now, if you don't feel comfortable with the options they have given you, there should be plenty more out there. I hope you find the approach that works for you.

    And none of your boys will hate you. You're their number 1!


  7. Oh my lovely, lovely lady....I wish I could say something to help but I have no helpful words. I'm pretty sure that your friends, hubby and the kids will carry on loving you regardless 'glow' and all!! On the positive side at least you soon won't have any more periods.....hooray!!! Hugs xx

  8. Aw love, I'm sorry I haven't experienced the menopause just yet so have no useful advice really. I just wanted to say I hope you find something that helps, and quickly too. Must be awful to feel that way all the time. Hugs and best wishes, @Chaoskay x

  9. You are perfectly normal which is why you're going through these changes. I'm peri-menopausal and it's already caused problems for me, we think it could have had something to do with my epilepsy. I wouldn't be able to take drugs because they interfere with my anti-convulsants. You'll be absolutely fine. Your husband will support you and your kids will get used to your mood swings!!

    And don't forget, we're always here too! Is there a group you could become a part of online for menopausal women? It might be something to join and give you a good source of information. I'll join in if you do.

    CJ xx

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  11. It can be a really sad time when you realise that you have hit the menopause but it can also be uplifting. The biggest benefit is no more periods, no more cramps Yaay. I started mine 6 years ago and went through a really tough couple of years but now it is a lot better with only the occasional hot flush. The best way to find out how it will affect you is to talk to your mum,(you will tend to have the same or similar symptoms!) I had to go cold turkey, NO HRT or Herbal medicines as I had a heart operation some years ago. Make sure you talk to lots of people and get lots of advice before making any decisions. love and hugs xx P.S. my partner didn't leave me and my daughter still loved me :-)

  12. Thank you all ladies for your lovely supportive comments. I really appreciate it. Its really hard feeling so emotional all the time, I am crying over everything. Even cried over Rita dying in Dexter the other day !!

  13. Honey I am here for you, if you want to cry or shout I'm here. I wish I could say something to help. My mum takes HRT for it and has been on it for over 5 years she says she's never coming off. Not sure it would be my approach. Hugs x

  14. Oh Karen, Sorry you are feeling so rough at the mo. I'm sure it has helped to have soo many lovely peopl stop by with words of support and encouragement...I'm stopping by for that reason to encourage you and let you know you're not alone evn if no-one else was going through what you are we can still understand it all!

    My mum felt like that about not having babies when she had her hysterectomy and yet she was unlikely to have any more anyway (having been told I was a miracle baby)

    As for being tired of being tired...with ME I know that feeling totally!! so I can understand.

    a piece of will end. just cos the menopause lasts for so long deosn't mean you'll have these symptoms for all that time. right now it's new and a bit scary but you'll get used to it and carry on with the same energy and grace we know you to have :-)

    and a little advice...try diet and herbal remedies for 6 months and if there is no improvement try HRT but if diet and herbs work for you then thats great :-) as someone has already said every woman is different and what works for one doesn't for another and there is no harm in trying them out.

    Hope you start to feel more like yourself soon and that you are less tired and have more energy and are less emotional (although I cry all the time and can't stop myself and don't have your excuse ;-) I cry when I see anyone cry even on reality tv shows or films!!) (((((((((big hugs to you))))))))

  15. So Sorry I'm late for this post Karen,
    sending you bloody big belated hugs anyway.
    Your writing really touched a chord with me. I have been feeling the whole age thing allot recently, its something to do with Eloise turning sixteen i think, I really don't feel much older than that in my mind, honestly!
    and I know I will feel just the same as you do now when it happens to me. Nature is a bit of a sicko you know. Giving us such a cruel reminder of our own mortality. But its also beautiful and I know once you can get some relief from all the symptoms it *will* be better.
    That Mark Twain fellow, he knows what he's talking about ;D ... " Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "
    Love and hugs sweet friend xx xx

  16. Dear Teri, thank you so much for stopping by with your lovely comment, I know you understand about discomfort. I am lucky this will pass, you have it all the time xxx Hugs xxx

  17. Dearest Helen,
    Don't apologise silly, its not obligatory to comment on all my posts you know xxx
    Thank you for your wonderful supportive words and you are right there is also an element of Jacob like Eloise turning 16 ! It really does seem to flash past when you look back on it.
    Its so true that we should make the most of every moment, life really does speed up as you get older.
    massove hugs xxxxx

  18. Karen, do what your mom did and demand the HRT as you know I have been on it for 20yrs yes 20 yrs to all those sceptics and have never looked back. I have 3 yearly checks for cancer etc. You do not have to suffer like this especially when you have a 16yr old and 6 yr old twins life is hard enough for you. Take care you are amazing even if you do not feel or think it at the moment.
    Hugs your mother xxxx



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