Two things happened this weekend which brought sharply into focus my age and perhaps the time has come to buy beige crimplene trousers!
I went to see Olly Murs on Friday night with the gorgeous Harriet from Twitter @seasparkle_x . As we stood outside the cattle market - Junction 24 in Somerset, in the rain, musing as to why he would be doing a gig in such a place, it dawned on us that 99.9 % of the queue were 14 yr old girls. Undaunted we shuffled along to a chorus of
"oh my hair will get ruined in this rain" - You should be more concerned about catching pneumonia ! Does you mum know you are wearing that !
"oh look, there's Laura, Sarah, Jessica and just about every other girl from the local high school "come and join us " - yes, as long as you are BEHIND me !
"is that his car over there ? - Where ? "SCREAMS" "SCREAMS" "it is! nah ! He'd be in a stretch limo wouldn't he ? " - Not likely ! and he has broken down on the M5
"What does VIP on that door mean ?" - "dunno, isn't it something to do with the security ? " "oh yea" - Oh dear !
"Wish I was up there with those girls, don't they look glamorous " - I wish YOU were up there with those girls (clearly the hairdressers from one of the units below who had blagged entry into the VIP Lounge).
Once inside - yes, it is an actual cattle market, but it didn't smell like cattle, which was something, we stood around for what seemed like an age and then we were introduced to the support act.
I am reliably informed the lad, who wondered onto the stage waving like a bemused cleaner entering through the wrong door only to find himself faced with several hundred screaming teenagers and two confused mummy bloggers , is a reality tv star. Anyway just for you Helen :
After a couple of very poor renditions, during which Harriet and I tweeted our boredom. He was followed by a Peter Andre Wannabe, another member of said Essex reality tv show called japha "remember my name". We will sweetie, you are a cake! and then some girl who was famous on You Tube !
By this time it was 9 o'clock and I had almost lost the will to live, my back and knees felt like they were just about to give way. I'm not used to standing up for so long these days ! Finally Olly Murs appeared on stage, gorgeous, cheeky chappy, he was a dream (if a bit of a sweaty one) it was hot in the cattle market . He performed about 5 songs and that was it ! Astonished, we shuffled back out of the cattle market. I for one was just relieved to get back to my car and sit down !
The second " you know you are old when...."
The twins were invited to a party on Saturday at the local social club. It looked like the whole of year one was in the room. I gave them the usual "be good, play nice, don't hit anybody, say please and thank you " speech and made a hasty exit . WOOP! 2 whole hours of freedom.
When did parties get so short ? I can remember as a child in the 70's we used to have a houseful of kids for at least 3 or 4 hours. On my return after what seemed like 5 minutes, a hula hoop competition was taking place, of course the girls were the only ones in the final. The rest of the children who had clearly been sitting around the edge of the room for some time were getting fidgety, particularly my boys. One of them ran across the room to me at my spot by the door, at which point a lady who was either the manager of the social club or a grandma of the birthday boy frightened the living daylights out of both Milo and myself by screeching " Hey ! you boy ! get back over there and sit down, party is not finished yet !"
and in a final flourish, " You be a good boy, your Grandma will still be here at the end" !
Ah! Big sigh, that's the second time I have been called the twins Grandma .......