I was intrigued by the subject of a tweet today from Mich of Mummy from the Heart where I was tagged in " a positive and uplifting MEME ", the subject of which was to ask people to leave a comment with one positive word that they though described me.
I have never had problem seeing the good in other people but to ask for positive comments about myself ? How very un - Me !
Michelle's reason for choosing me was a revelation in itself - "because it always appears to me as if Karen is as hard on herself as I am on me and frankly she needs a break from it and to hear how great she is"
I would hate to think that people think I am always putting myself down, how boring is that ! It is not a conscious thing. It is though, certainly a confidence thing. That saying of "put yourself down before somebody else does " I have never been good at accepting a compliment and nearly always reply to one with a negative about myself. I have learnt to recognise this as I have got older and have made a big effort to accept compliments when they are given. At the root of it all is certainly low self esteem.
I remember vividly an incident when I first joined the Army, we were being taught how to use identification kits, where you have to select parts of the face from images in a book and make up an identikit. I was sat next to a boy (we were both about 17 at the time) after selecting our images, eyes, nose, ears etc that we felt best described the person next to us we had to explain our choices to the class. The lad, my partner, set about describing me and when he got to the nose he said I had a bulbous nose, the whole class sniggered . I was devastated, never forgot that and spent the rest of my life hating my face and my nose and being totally self conscious. This I know resulted in people saying I was "stuck up, and stand offish" but I was in fact paralysed with shyness and constantly wondering if everyone who looked at me saw my "bulbous" nose.
I have never been able to "see" what other people see, except for in recent years when looking back at photographs of myself as a younger woman and seeing how fab I actually looked. I spend a great deal of time trying to make my children be "kind" "caring" "to think about others" Its the best gift you can give to your children kindness and a good word costs nothing.
As my mother says " If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"
So go on ..... Knock me out with your great one word comments about how fab I am ! (OMG, What if nobody comments..... )
I would like to tag these great people in Michelle's fab MEME :
Helen from icklebabe_com - Because she has a lot to deal with an doesn't show it.
Harriett from @Seasparkle_x - Because she needs to know she's a pretty cool lady, even though she thinks people ignore her.
Emma from Adventuresofanenglishmum Because I remember only too well, how hard it can be to be a single mum and how you constantly doubt yourself when bringing up your child.
Lisa from babynotincluded - Because she has a new(ish) baby girl after a 10 yr gap (same as my children) and I KNOW how hard that can be.
Katheryn from Crystaljigsaw because she is a fab lady, with a very special daughter and she received a bit of a blog bashing recently (and her blog Marvellous Mable will scare the pants off you )